What is Family Mediation?
Family mediation is a process which a growing number of couples are using to resolve issues which arise at the end of their relationship, as an alternative to the traditional legal process.
The traditional legal process is where each person instructs their own solicitor; they attempt to resolve matters via correspondence between the solicitors and, if that does not work, they go to court. That process is very stressful and expensive and includes significant delays. The court is never the best arena to make decisions about your family’s future.
In family mediation, the couple commits to resolving the issues between them during a series of meetings with an impartial, specially trained mediator.
What is the mediation process?
The mediator will meet with each person on their own for a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). The meeting normally takes between 45 minutes and one hour.
Prior to the MIAM you will be asked to complete a mediation preliminary information form with all the basic details regarding your personal and financial circumstances. This frees up time during the meeting so that the meeting can be used more productively. The main purposes of the MIAM are as follows :-
The mediator to provide you with information regarding the mediation process and the principles behind mediation and to discuss with you other methods of non-court dispute resolution. This will enable you to make an informed decision as to whether you would like to give mediation a try.
For the mediator to find out more about you and the background to your situation so that the mediator can make an assessment as to whether the case is suitable for mediation. The mediator will be seeking to determine whether there are any safeguarding issues and to consider whether you are emotionally able to deal with mediation.
To discuss the practical arrangements for mediation, for example, should it take place face to face or online; your availability for joint sessions; how you are to share the fees between you.
For you and the mediator to start to build a relationship of trust.
If both of you decide that you would like to try mediation and the mediator considers that your case is suitable for mediation, you will then move on to the joint sessions.
Joint mediation sessions at Orwins last for around an hour and a half. They can take place in our office, online or at consulting rooms in the City or Stratford (East London).
What can we talk about in mediation?
Most couples want to discuss property and financial matters and, if they have children, the arrangements for their children, following their separation. However, mediation is very flexible and it does provide a safe space for the couple to discuss other matters such as the arrangements for their separation, how they will tell their children, when they will make a formal application for a divorce and anything else that is of importance to the couple.
What is mediation not?
Mediation is not therapy. Mediators are trained to help couples reach agreement on practical issues. Mediators do not have any expertise in helping individuals or couples to overcome difficulties in their relationship or deal with emotional issues.
Although the mediator may explore with you whether there are any prospects of a reconciliation, they are not trained to help you effect a reconciliation.
The role of the mediator
The mediator’s role is to help the two of you to communicate in a calm and structured way and make your own decisions for the future.
The mediator does not act as a judge or conduct the mediation in a directive way – although the mediator can give you some guidance as to whether the arrangements you are proposing are likely to be approved by a court. The decisions are for the couple.
The mediator does not take sides or express opinions about who is right or wrong.
Is mediation for me?
Mediation is for you if:
There are no safeguarding issues
You are emotionally ready to deal with the practical issues
You want to remain on good terms with your ex
You want to avoid the stress, expense and delay of going to court
You want to retain control over future decisions affecting your family
You are prepared to work hard and play an active part in the discussions
You are prepared to listen to each other
You are prepared to be flexible
What should I do if I am unsure?
If you are still unsure whether mediation is for you, the best thing to do is to arrange a MIAM so that you can talk things through with our experienced mediator.
